Frustration and fears..

Its another one of those days were I sit around pondering my future. Maybe the 'sitting around' part of that last sentence is the problem?

I spend half the time worrying about the future, its a natural thing to do I suppose but I don't half find it irritating. I'm currently writing a presentation for university for a module called 'Professional Practice.' The irony is I can't get any professional practice right now, and even if I did I can't help but feel my gear isn't up to scratch. The viscous circle then happens, I can pull more hours in my part time job to earn money for new gear at the detriment of my career choice and university commitments. All I know is, I can't go pro with the gear I've got right now as it will not suffice.

One glimmer of hope is the following, I took a shot in the dark and posted an advert on photographers.co.uk. I didn't think I'd hear anything but thought it might help my Google rating for my own website as it was another place that was linking to my own site.

It was posted on the 12th April, on the 17th I received an email from a local photographer called Mike Tolfree. The email received was through photographers.co.uk,

Daniel,

I'm Michael from Cannock. I have my own studio in Brownhills, fully equipped and offering various services.
I may be able to help, in fact, I am looking for an assistant for tomorrow (18th) with transport as I have had a crisis with my own. So it's an assistant, lift share kind of gig (petrol paid and I can come up with some form of payment). I can also offer various things in the future.

If your interested try and get back to me as early as possible today and I will give you the details.
Many Thanks,
Mike Tolfree
Avenue[19] Photography

Unfortunately, due to work and lack of notice I had to decline. I have however been in touch with Mike and hopefully meeting with him this week to discuss possible assisting roles in the coming future. Hopefully it will present me with opportunity to add to my portfolio.

I've also got the up and coming shoot with Birmingham based band, The Benwahs, but I can't help but feel its not going to happen as I'd like. I've been trying to generate excitement about it all but no one else seems to been as engaged about it all apart from me, but we'll see...

Next up is the which camera...? dilemma.

I've got 3 amateur lenses in my arsenal; a stock 18-55 f4.5 lens, a 50mm f1.8 lens and a tamron zoom lens up to 300mm. These lenses will fit a Canon 7D, but quite frankly offer poor image quality when comparing against professional level lenses. The Canon 7D is in my price range but the body only offers a cropped sensor. This is fine for now, but its a lot of money to spend to then upgrade at a later date. The 5D mk II is a full frame camera, but the lenses I currently own are designed for a cropped frame SLR forcing me to purchase new lenses with the 5D body, this I cannot afford and so do I wait or buy the Canon 7D?

I've been baffled by reviews on the bodies and feel completely overwhelmed by some of the technical talk which makes me feel slightly inferior.

sigh..